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Beautysparkle: The Disarray of Modern Literature
Author's Note Author: ❄ Blizzardpelt ❄Freezing in the Summer! 05:59, January 6, 2013 (UTC) I'm glad to say that this is my first fanfiction for this site. This story is a parody that mocks many of the fanfiction stories that I've seen on various Warriors fanfiction sites. These are called "Mary Sue" stories, where a horrifyingly perfect character falls into a predictable plot and has some type of magical ability, saving the clans. This story parodies the appearance, personality, and plotline of these "Suefics." I originally made this for my friends, but then decided to post it here. I hope you like it! :) Oh yeah, there's also various references to pop culture. I do not own Warrior Cats or any of these references, for if I did, I'd have a lot more money that I have now. Summary: A parody of the classic Mary Sue fanfiction. This story follows the life of Beautysparkle, an amazingly perfect and beautiful she-cat. She's so sweet that you'll swear that she's 70% cotton candy. Follow Beautysparkle on her journey to save RainbowClan from the forces of evil, along with a horde of toms that follow her like kittens. Terrible and horrendous, you'll wish you've never even read it. Enjoy, if you can. '' Allegiances '''RainbowClan ' Leader: Puddingstar - a slightly pudgy tom with swirly brown fur, a gumdrop-pink nose, and warm brown eyes. Deputy: Mousetail - a thin gray tom with a long snout, a very thin tail, bright amber eyes, and a fear of fierce cats, especially Shadyclaw. Medicine Cat: Stonewhisper - A creepy-ish gray tom with thick fur and large, round, pale blue eyes. He likes to whisper in cat’s ears, which causes him to be semi-ignored by the clan. His creepiness has also caused Yarnknitter to knit several Stonewhisper outfits, which has become popular with the kits around Halloween. Mentor to Elfpaw. Warriors: (toms and she-cats without kits) Shadyclaw - a big, dark brown tabby tom with black stripes, eerie amber eyes, long claws, and a permanent scowl. Is totally not suspicious at all. Croniestripe - a big gray tom with black stripes and spots, black paws, crazy yellow eyes, a thin figure, and a creepy laugh. He likes to give kits candy, which nobody finds suspicious. He also hangs around Shadyclaw, so nobody suspects him at all. He’s a good ol’ chap, really. Shadyclaw was his mentor. Good role-model. Sirenyowl - a jittery yellow tom a white underbelly, muzzle, paws, chest, and tail-tip. Has one bright blue eye and one bright red eye. Always carries a portable megaphone with him and likes to attatch a siren to the top of his head when something chaotic happens. Has bipolar personalities, speaks with a lisp. He also uses L337SP34K. Mudpuddle - a normal-ish brown tabby tom with normal amber eyes. Has a tendency to step in mud puddles. Mentor to Snowpaw. Jaytalon - a dark gray tabby she-cat with dark blue eyes. Very snappy, seems to be the only logical cat in RainbowClan, though nobody listens to her. Is currently deciding whether or not to leave the clan and visit a mental asylum. Fishflop - gray-silver tom with silver eyes and sleek fur. Ever since he was hit by a rock when he was a kit, he believes that he’s a fish. Mostly flops around camp all day. Whenever he wishes to move, he flops. Cats want him to avoid the water, since they fear that he won’t be able to swim. In battle, he has surprising karate-fish skills. Creeperfur - big tom with mottled green fur and square-ish black eyes and mouth. Is blamed for most explosions. Tends to move around by hopping and speaks by hissing. He’s very misunderstood. All he wants is a friend. Kawaiineko - small white she-cat with pink patches and eccentric green eyes. Speaks in an entirely different language and reads foreign comics. Can only be understood by her apprentice, Sugoipaw. Can often be seen with Sugiopaw, squealing and talking in a strange tongue. Butterpelt - a pudgy yellow tom with shiny, glossy fur and bright golden eyes. When he’s in the sunlight for a while, his fur can be seen melting. Kits like to lick his fur, which magically regenerates, so he doesn’t mind. Apprentices: ''' Sugoipaw - golden-and-white she-cat with pink specks and amber eyes. Has an interest in fighting and controlling “romantic sea-vessels,” to the point that her mentor, Kawaiineko, lets her use a katana in training. Is an otaku. Likes to pair up every cat in the clan. Secretly ships herself with Snowpaw. Snowpaw - generally nice tom with white fur and blue eyes. One of the only sane cats in the clan, along with Mudpuddle, his mentor. Takes an interest in Beautykit. Hikarupaw - pinkish-orange tom with smooth fur and hazel eyes. Identical twin brother to Kaorupaw. Mentor is Butterpelt. Kaorupaw - pinkish-orange tom with smooth fur and hazel eyes. Indentical twin brother to Hikarupaw. Mentor is Fishflop. Elfpaw - small, skinny gray tom with thin, short fur and round blue eyes. Has unnaturally large ears and a stutter. Very timid and meek, has a fear of Yarnknitter, for he feels that her knitwear “will set Eflpaw free. E-Elfpaw doesn’t want to be set free, sir. Elfpaw likes w-working as the medicine cat apprentice.” '''Queens: Glimmersun - luxurious white she-cat with chinchilla-soft fur, wide blue eyes like the ocean with sun-golden flecks. Mother to Mudpuddle’s kits: Beautykit - Amazingly beautiful and awesome silver tabby she-kit with beautiful silver swirls and dazzling, brilliant blue eyes like the ocean and sky with hints of purple, like the sunset. She has a pink star on her forehead and an amazing body, despite being a kit. She also has wings. Birdkit - black tom with gray patches and bright green eyes. Believes that he can fly. Normalkit - brown she-kit with brown eyes and.....well, yeah. She’s pretty normal. Elders: Yarnknitter: Dark rose she-cat with lighter paws, blue eyes, and owns a surplus of yarn. Slightly mental, never seems to stop knitting. Mate to Crabsnapper. Crabsnapper: red-and-white tom with spiky fur, pale yellow eyes, and sharp teeth. Seems to hate everyone, except for Yarnknitter. Will go into a rage and shout profanity and anybody who disturbs him from his video poker. Mate to Yarnknitter. Prologue The light of the full moon illuminated the forest, casting shadows against the forest. Shiny drops of dew dotted thethick, tall green grass that gently swayed in the light breeze coming from the north. The grass rustled with movement, partially revealing the dark silhouettes of four feline figures heading in the same direction. Soon, the four figures leaped out of the tall grass and into a wide, circular clearing. A small, crystal-clear pony lay in the very center of the clearing, surrounded by low reeds. The first figure, a large golden-brown tabby with thick fur, sighed in relief as he closed his green eyes. “Thank goodness,” he mewed with a deep voice, “we didn’t see any of those weird creatures. The last time we traveled through tall grass to perform a night prophecy, a whole pack of those things kept shouting ‘luxray! luxray!’ after me.” “You think you have it bad?” a crackly voice mewed from behind him. An old, unattractive dark gray she-cat with messy fur and a squashed face glared at him with sharp orange eyes. “I had some fat ol’ purple cat chase me around everywhere, yelling ‘purugly!’ after me. I don’t need some dim-witted mange-pelt commenting on my appearance!” she snarled. Before the golden tabby could reply, a small tortoiseshell she-cat stepped between the two and stared at them with bright amber eyes. “Silence, you two! We’re not here to argue! We must obtain a calm demeanour and a wise presence as we present the prophecy.” The elderly she-cat scoffed at her reply. “For StarClan’s sake Spottedleaf, it’s pretty hard to be calm and wise. We’re always called to deliver prophecies! Can it be Crookedstar, Tallstar, or even Featherwhisker? Oh no, always us four. These authors have us on our toes every moment, giving prophecies left and right.” At that moment, the sky flashed pink for a brief moment. A high-pitched, slightly annoying voice squealed, “OH MY GOSH, YOU GUYS BROKE THE FOURTH WALL! WE’RE LIKE, BUDDIES NOW, AREN’T WE? OH MY GOSH!!!” A second voice came from the sky, scolding the first one. “Pinkie, what are you doing here? You just broke ALL the walls! ALL of them! I just fixed them!” The spectacular shortly ended with the blast of what sounded like a cannon. The three cats, having to have somehow ignored this, situated themselves around the pond in the center of the clearing. With a brush of grass, a fourth feline figure joined the group and flashed her eyes at the three of them. She had blue-gray fur, brilliant blue eyes, and seemed as if she had little toleration for immaturity. “I have gathered you three here tonight because of a clan that will face great troubles,” she mewed, “There is a traitor that lies among them, one that will send the clan into absolute chaos if he is not stopped.” “If you ask me,” the dark gray she-cat muttered to the golden tom, “they aren’t in such a great shape to begin with.” The blue-gray she-cat shot her a glare, then continued speaking, “There is hope for this clan, hope that will come in one of the most unexpected forms.” The dark gray she-cat rolled her eyes out of boredom, for these type of prophecies were indeed expected. Even Spottedleaf, the pretty tortoiseshell across the pond, knew exactly what would happen. But Spottedleaf, who was very much decent and held a great alliance to the blue-gray cat, kept her tongue silent and played along for the sake of the greater plot. “But Bluestar,” she mewed, “this kit is so young! Are you willing to let the weight of a prophecy fall on the shoulders of such an innocent kit?” “Spottedleaf,” the golden tom mewed with a deep, baritone voice, “she can handle the prophecy. StarClan knows that she will accept her destiny and save her clan from destruction.” The golden tom saw that Spottedleaf was still worried, so he tried to find another reason. “May I remind you of Firestar?” he said after a brief hesitation, “Look where he started, and look where he is now. If a kittypet from Twolegplace can save a clan, so can the kit.” An awkward silence filled the air as Bluestar glared at him with cold eyes. Even Yellowfang, the pessimistic dark gray she-cat, gave him a brief glare. Lionheart had just broken the she-cat rule. Never mention to a dead she-cat about their secret living crush with a family that she secretly stalks from the other side. Lionheart’s green eyes showed much confusion. What did he do wrong? Spottedleaf let out a small sob before giving Lionheart a death-glare. Bluestar glanced back and forth from Spottedleaf to Lionheart, eager to ease away the tension. “Anyway,” she mewed, “the prophecy is this: Shade will dull the colors of the rainbow, bringing eternal night and despair. The sparkle of beauty will drive back the shade, bringing colors back to the rainbow. '' However, all is not easy for the beauty. When all hope seems to be lost, look toward the silver sky.” It took a few moments for Lionheart, Spottedleaf, and Yellowfang to take in the words of the prophecy. Lionheart and Spottedleaf had looks of utter confusion upon their faces. Even Yellowfang looked confused. That, or she was a really good actress. “Wait,” Yellowfang slowly mewed, “what does ‘the silver sky’ mean? I mean, everything else is predictable except for that part.” Bluestar stared into the pond beneath her, her blue eyes clouded. “We must wait and see,” she muttered, “StarClan help them.” Yellowfang sarcastically mewed in agreement. Spottedleaf raised her head, staring at the three other cats. “I just have one question,” she mewed, “what is wrong with these cats? You speak as if they are all ignorant kits. They’re just a regular clan, right? There can’t possibly be anything wrong with them?” Chapter 1: In Which the Horror Begins Rain fell from the sky in a torrential downpour, pounding the tops of the massive trees below. Drops of rain constantly fell off of the broad, green leaves of the exotic trees, forming multiple puddles of mud on the soft, damp earth below. Lightning viciously crackled in the sky, generating exactly 1.21 gigawatts with each strike. The invisible camera that followed the scene of the dark, rainy jungle slowly passed by a sign portruding out from a ground. The sign read "East Dock" in yellow-orange letters, an arrow right beneath it pointing to the west. It oddly resembled that one scene from Jurassic Park. Suddenly, the noise of a siren cried out from behind the sign, a red-and-blue flash becoming brighter and brighter as it came closer. Without warning, a small figure leaped out of the ferns and brushed the side of the sign, flipping the arrow into another direction. The small, damp figure came to an abrupt stop and looked around, its odd eyes flashing in the rain with a wild look. "GL1MM3R5UN 15 K1TT1NG! GLIMM3R5UN 15 K1TT1NG!" the figure, now confirmed to be a cat, hissed with a shrill voice. The cat's yellow-and-white fur flashed back into the bushes, streaking through the dense vegetation and leaping over the overgrown roots with ease. The cat dived down a bracken tunnel before entering a wide, open clearing lined with thick trees and bracken. The clearing was filled with cats of every shape, size, and color running around like maniacs. Many of them were screaming their heads off, running in every direction with their tails in the air. Only one cat in the clearing didn't seem to be panicking, a flashy silver tom that flopped in the center of the clearing with wide, silver eyes. Every other cat seemed to ignore this. One cat streaked by the silver tom in a brown flash, sending up a shower of mud over the flopping tom. The silver tom didn't seem to take any notice of this. The brown tabby appeared in front of a large, stone den that smelled strongly of milk and all things good and wonderful. A beautiful cry pierced the air like the cry of a beautiful mermaid (or mercat, whatever works) in pain. Before the tom could enter, a small rock hit him on the head. The head of a skinny gray cat poked out of the den, staring at the brown cat with round eyes. "T-Terribly sorry, Mudpuddle," he stammered in an unusually squeaky voice, "Elfpaw h-had to. Elfpaw d-didn't want Mudpuddle to disturb his mate while she's k-kitting. Eflpaw's mentor is d-doing the very best he can." The brown tom rubbed his head with his muddy paw, leaving a streak of mud across his head. He winced as another cry came from behind the skinny cat. "Don't you hear that?" he snarled, "That's my mate in there! She's having my kits! I must see her! She sounds terrible!" the brown cat tried to push past Elfpaw, but he was met by another rock. "Y-You musn't, sir," Elfpaw mewed, "Glimmersun shouldn't be d-disturbed now. Glimmersun needs all the h-help she can get!" Mudpuddle stared at him through narrowed amber eyes before slowly nodding his head, slinking away. Inside the stone den, an amazingly beautiful she-cat lay on her side, screaming and writhing in pain. Beautiful tears streaked down her gorgeous face, now twisted in pain. A dark tom stood above her, his pale blue eyes shining in the darkness. He bent down so that he could meet the she-cat's face. "Glimmersun, you must push," he mewed in a monotone voice, "You are delivering kits. You must be strong, though you have lost much blood." Glimmersun opened one brilliant blue eye, then nodded. Elfpaw bent down near the she-cat's side, moving his paws around her stomach. "S-Stonewhisper! S-She's having the first kit!" he mewed with fear. Stonewhisper nodded at his apprentice, handing a stick to Glimmersun. "Here," he mewed, "bite on this when the pain comes. The first one is coming out now." With a giant push, a small brown bundle of fur appeared at the she-cat's side. Elfpaw moved the she-cat to Glimmersun's soft belly to suckle. "I-It's a she-kit!" Elfpaw stammered. Glimmersun attempted to life her head up to look at her daughter, but fell back as a new wave of misery and pain spread through her body. Soon, a tomkit was at her side, joining his sister. Glimmersun lay down, too tired to admire her new kits. Mudpuddle burst into the nursery, his amber gaze locked on Glimmersun and his two kits. "G-Glimmersun," he mewed in amazement, "they're-" His mew was cut off by an incredible screech of pain from Glimmersun, making the she-cat's slender body shudder in pain. Elfpaw dashed to Glimmersun's side. "T-There's one more! One more kit!" he yelled. Stonewhisper stared at Glimmersun. She was in too much paint. This kit wouldn't make it. He watched Glimmersun cry out in udder misery, Mudpuddle freezing at the sight of his mate, and Elfpaw stuttering more frequently than usual. With one final screech, a wet bundle appeared at Glimmersun's belly. A she-kit. "Glimmersun!" Mudpuddle screeched, pushing aside Elfpaw as he came to his mate's side. He tried to comfort his mate with peaceful, soothing words, but it was all in vain. Glimmersun looked at her mate with half-closed eyes, the blue and amber in her eyes slowly fading. She weakly opened her mouth before giving out one final breath, one final sentence, "I-I love you...." she breathed out, her body slinking to the ground and her eyes closing one final time. She was dead. The whole den was silent. Stonewhisper wore an expressionless face as he watched Mudpuddle slowly begin to shudder. Elfpaw's huge blue eyes grew moist with sadness, his large ears drooping to the side of his head. After many moments, Mudpuddle slowly raised his head. Stonewhisper saw Mudpuddle's eyes slowly turn horrid, a fire and rage building up inside the brown tabby's body. Suddenly, Mudpuddle whipped around to face his kits. "YOU DID THIS!" he yowled. "YOU KILLED HER! YOU KILLED MY MATE!" "Mudpuddle," Stonewhisper calmly mewed, "they're only kits. They have barely any consciousness and cannot feel emotions. You consider them murderers?" "YES! YES!" Mudpuddle turned on him with wild eyes, "JUST LOOK AT THE LITTLE DEVILS! LOOK AT THEM SMILE WITH GLEE AND JOY!" The kits did nothing. The black kit seemed to chirp. "I will have NOTHING to do with them! They are not my kin, they are not my kits! I REFUSE to be associated with....THEM!" he hissed. Mudpuddle stormed out of the nursery, leaving the two other cats to stare past the nursery in amazement. Stonewhisper eventually bent down to lick the kits. They needed warmth, immediately. The warmth of Glimmersun's body was slowly fading away. The kits would starve. He spent a few moments examining the kits. The first she-kit was a brown color. Meh. Nothing quite special. The second, a tom, had black fur with a gray chest. His fur seemed to be downy, even though he had just been born. Suddenly, the sound of the storm seemed to die away. A beam of moonlight shone through a crack in the wall, illuminating the third kit. The she-kit had beautiful silver fur with brilliant swirls. A pink star was on her forehead, shining neon in the light. And though this kit had literally just been born and kittens can't open their eyes until a few weeks, she opened her eyes to reveal a pair of dazzling, brilliant blue eyes with purple tints. She was truly a gift from StarClan. A voice seemed to echo through the air, carried by the wind. Stonewhisper heard the voice whisper a message in his head: Shade will dull the colors of the rainbow, bringing eternal night and despair. The sparkle of beauty will ''drive back the shade, bringing colors back to the rainbow. '' However, all is not easy for the beauty. When all hope seems to be lost, look toward the silver sky.” ''To be continued Category:Fanfiction